This is my benzo story. Four years ago on a nice spring morning I got a call that informed me my younger brother had shot himself.
I not wanting to deal with this called my Doctor and asked for something to take so I would not have to think about this and to help me sleep. I got what I wanted I’m not sure what it was but it worked. I went through that bottle and got another, as a matter of fact when I went to see him he asked me if I wanted it refilled. I did.
Sometime in there I discoved the wonderful world of internet drugs. I could get anything I wanted and overnight. I don’t know how I was so lucky but my drug was Valium. I would order 10 mgs pills along will Ambien (Zolpidem) and take one of each before I went to sleep.
For about 3 years everything was fine I was sleeping and the drugs were causing me no problems that I knew of. A year or so ago I remember starting to feel strange in the mornings, a need to take more of the drugs, which I started to do.
I knew at this time something was wrong and I started to do research on the internet. I realized that I was addicted to the Valium. I was at this time taking 30 mgs a day. About this time I found this group and the BI group information. I went to my Doctor and told him my problem; he said OK what you need to do is cut back 10 mgs a week and then in 3 weeks you will be done. I thinking if it was that easy I would just quit cold turkey which I did. I was a member of BI at that time and posted what I was doing. James there told me I was making a big mistake but I was feeling good so I did not listen. Well I made it 12 days, with the days after about a week getting worse and worse.
On June 22nd 2005 I gave in a reinstated at 30 mgs of Valium (diazepam). At that time I was also taking Buspar and my Ambien. I did a quick taper of the Buspar and quit the Ambien. I stabilized for 3 weeks and started my taper.
Sometime around the first of July I was able to find a Doctor here that would work with me. When I went to my first appointment I had already started my taper. The Doctor wanted me to do a Phenobarbital taper which I did not know anything about. I asked the good people here and was advised not to go there. I was seeing the Doctor every two weeks and the next time I went to see him I said let’s try the Aston taper and see, if it does not work we will try your method.
In the beginning I tapered at 2.5 mgs every 8 -12 days. I did this till I hit 20 mgs from there I went to 1 mg and then at 5 mgs I slowed down again to 0.5mg till the end.
It has been about 2 months since I took my last dose and life has been wonderful. I did not have a hard taper. Looking back I think the reasons it went so well are I have a wonderful family, I had the information I needed from the great people in this group and I had a Doctor that knew I wanted off the drugs and worked with me at my pace.
Just keep in mind that this is a long process and sometimes it can be hard. I remember thinking it the middle that it would never end but it does. It is so great to be done and have my life back again. I am back to living life and enjoying everyday. I look at the whole journey as a great learning process. Life is great drug free.
Michael
6/21/05
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